Farewell 2009

I have been intending to review 2009 for myself for some time. But as it would have it, I haven't been reaching home earlier than 12 midnight for 3 of the past 5 days; and of the days I did, there was too much work to be done or I was just simply too tired. And now, with the CMPS report, I guess that'd have to wait till after Monday, when hopefully I'd get a bit of a breather.

Daily for the past week, there would be 2 pages reviewing a particular aspect in the past decade. I'm wondering whether I should make such an attempt to. A decade ago, I was 11, in primary 5. Certainly, many many things have changed since then. Many experiences, and I'm inclined to think there're many more good than bad ones. God has been extremely gracious and good. I always thought that if I were to sit down and count God's blessings within a year, it would already take forever, if I even remember all of them; what more a decade, or a lifetime? (:

At this point of time, I would just like to express my deepest appreciation and thanks to all those who have given me lifts home for the past year. With the start of clinicals, many of my friends and classmates have started to drive. I'm always very thankful and touched when many of them offer to give me a lift all the way to my doorstep even when it's already past midnight, or to somewhere I need to go. It really demonstrates the love that they have for me and my other friends. It's not as if all of us live within close proximity of one another. Twice in the past 4 days, 2 of my choir friends have ferried 4-5 people who lived in different parts of Singapore. And it's not even on their way home. By the time they reached home, it would already be past 1am. Yet they do so willingly. Thank you so much. (: If I ever get a car, (after I get my license, hopefully next year), I would reciprocate this love I have been shown. You can hold me to my word.

Going for watchnight service and countdown in a while. For the first time in many years, I have not made a concrete decision whether to go out for supper after countdown, or even stayover at someone's place. For the past few years, I would have more than made up my mind days in advance that I'm only going to reach home in the late morning of 1st January. Is it age catching up with me? The desire just to have some time on my own at home? Not wanting to have to hang out with a large group of people? Is it to accompany my mum, who had spent many of the past new-years on her way home alone because my sister and I would be out with friends? Or just the thirst for a good night's sleep of more than 6 hours in the comfort of my own bed? I don't really know, it could probably be many or all of the above. But certainly, there is an element of fatigue setting in. Can't wait to finish my CMPS report (which is due Monday), it seems to be the only thing on my mind nowadays (besides CHP), since tomorrow would already be Friday.

To end off, would just like to quote Dr. Ang Peng Tiam, who wrote the following words in his column in the Straits Times supplement, Mind Your Body:

"Everyman wants to take control of his life. But the truth is, you are not in control. I , as your doctor, am not in control either. Someone else is in control - a higher being."

This patient [with recurrent breast cancer] is still very much alive today - a living miracle, full of vitality and purpose in life.

My silent prayer is that, by God's grace, the miracle will repeat itself. As we approach the new year, we are reminded that there is hope even in despair, light in darkness, and, as a doctor, even though I have no control over my patients' destiny, I can be a vessel of peace.